Category Archives: Relationship Realness

Why Mini Golf Makes The Ultimate First Date

July 9th, 2018

what to wear on a mini golf date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
what to wear on a mini golf date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow

First dates can really put your emotions through the wringer, and it’s important to be prepared for anything and everything. Okay, chances are you’ll feel excited, nervous, stressed out and exhilarated; but in today’s world thinking of where to go or what to eat can seem almost as daunting as getting asked out on a date, which is why I had to pipe in and ease those first date jitters. Dating can be nerve-wracking, but finding the perfect date night activity doesn’t have to be, which brings me to this post and why mini golf makes the ultimate first date.

what to wear on a mini golf date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
vineyard vines women golf style the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow

To be fully transparent, I was lucky enough to get paired up with Matt at a very young age, so while I haven’t had a ton of first date experince, per se, I have been on a ton of dates, that is for sure. Honestly dates come and go, but I would say that our mini golf date nights are some of the most memorable date nights ever. Which is really saying something because, Matt and I have spent nine summers together now, and as summers come and go the one thing that stays constant is our love for mini golf. I mean it’s a classic, and no matter your age, gender, height or skill set; mini golf is anybody’s game which is why it’s so fun.

It can be tempting to head to your favorite restaurant or a good movie for your big date, but nothing shakes off the jitters and allows you to really chat like a freshly turfed mini golf course. Whether you’re fishing your ball out of the water pathways or strategically trying to get your ball through the narrow doors of the lighthouse structure, and into the hole, embracing the now and letting loose is what dating is all about. Oh and it’s a good date night option if you’re looking to step away from your phone, which is another reason I love playing. I mean focus is key if you want to win and you know I’m all about winning! why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow

why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
why mini golf makes the ultimate first date the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow
how to look cute on the golf course the coastal confidence Aubrey yandow

Now that you know what you’re doing for your first date, it’s important to figure out what you should wear. Recently I’ve been living in this gingham printed sports polo dress from Vineyard Vines. Usually, I’m in between a size four/six but decided on a size small in this polo dress and honestly couldn’t be happier. The fabric is ideal for hot summer days and is cute as a button to boot. Very Jackie O and let’s just say that the compliments came pouring in while I was on the mini-golf course. Overall, polo dresses are a great New England wardrobe staple and can be styled from the golf course to the club with a few added accessories like earrings, a bold lip, and oversized sunglasses

Oh, and to make things more interesting it’s always fun to throw down a bet. For Matt and I that means the winner gets to control the TV remote for one entire night, so the stakes are high but for a first date I say the loser buys ice cream is a pretty safe bet. Now I’d love to hear from you guys, do you have a favorite mini golf course? If so leave the name and town of the courses below so Matt and I can check it out.

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Why Good Relationships Aren’t Always Convenient

May 12th, 2018
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence
Matt and I have had one heck of a week, and as we gear up for summer and some upcoming changes Matt decided to help out by sitting down and ‘writing’ this blog post for me’. I say ”writing’ with quotation marks because Matt’s idea of writing consists of walking around with his apple earbuds in saying he has writer’s block, and trying to flatter me into writing the post for him, which I guess worked out in his favor because here I am Friday night having to write the post for him because half of this post isn’t written.
 
This blog post was originally supposed to be a break down of all the places we’ve traveled, including which one was our favorite and what each place means to us; but Matt seemed to have taken a different direction with this post, so I’ll just roll with it. Today Matt is sharing why good relationships aren’t always convenient. Sooo we’ll just jump right into it and let Matt take it away.
 Vineyard Vines Straw Beach Tote Bag The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
Aubrey and I have been dating for quite some time and through those years we have been fortunate enough to travel to many different countries and cities. From the beaches of Aruba to the jungles of Costa Rica, we have been able to taste the food, experience day-to-day life and connect with different cultures throughout the world. Even though we’ve visited several more tropical places, Aruba, Costa Rica, St. Martin and Punta Cana; I still think our best vacation together was going to Ireland. In fact, Ireland was the first place Aubrey and Tessa decided to vlog, so if you missed our Ireland blog content make sure to check out all the vlogs: Cobh Vlog, Ring of Kerry Vlog, Cliff of Moher Vlog and Falconry School Vlog. Aubrey and I love hearing about the history surrounding us and are excited to explore more of Europe but one thing is for sure, we aren’t always on the same page when traveling. 
 
We get a lot of questions from you guys about how we manage to maintain our relationship especially after moving in together, living together and our more frequently asked question, how to manage constantly be around each other while traveling. The taboo answers to these questions would be ‘relationships are a lot of work’ or ‘we’re just best friends and always love being together’, which I guess is true but really, I think there is an easier answer. To be honest our relationship isn’t a convenience it’s a choice. When you’re single you are the captain, you can do what you want whenever you want. You can cook dinner for one whenever you’re hungry, you can move and live in whatever city without consulting another, and finally, you can make your own schedule selfishly and ruthlessly. I mean in a perfect world that’s how it would be in a relationship but there is no I in team, am I right!?
 
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Vineyard Vines Stripe Embroidered Shift Dress The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Vineyard Vines Preppy Couple The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
 
Okay, before I get heat for this post let me clear one thing up, your days should never revolve around someone else but in order to maintain a relationship through phases of your life, you’ll need to form a partnership, which means you are one part of a bigger thing. Actually, we’ve seen our friends through a lot of relationships and a lot of the time it doesn’t work out because no one wants to compromise their short-term happiness.  Swallowing your pride and opening your life, schedule, and home to another isn’t easy. At first, it seems fun and exciting but it gets hard, and it’s a constant give and take. I’m sure people have judged Aubrey and I’s relationship especially when she decided to move to Dallas for my career but we knew as a partnership we were in this together. Was it convenient for her no, was it convenient for me to be taking blog photos of her all weekend long to make up for the time away from her TCC photographer Tessa, no but this relationship is ours, it’s not convenient and it’s tough but it works. 
 
To be blunt if you want a relationship to work, you’ll make it work. So don’t you worry if you’re going through your relationship thinking it should be easier or prettier, because Aubrey and I have waded some rough tides. But in the end all the inconvenience our relationship brings is overpowered by all the moments together like this and if you don’t find those moments overpowering the inconvenience a good relationship might bring then maybe it’s time to sit yourself down for a talk. We each make small sacrifices and bring our own baggage to the table, but each trial is worth it for our overall goal. Aubrey and I make sure to let the other know how much we appreciate each other for the work, patience and confidence we have in our journey. I mean, things get weird, they get messy and a lot of moving boxes are involved but these perfect moments make every little inconvenience like Aubrey’s crazy love of 12 AM Walmart runs worth it. 
 
Vineyard Vines Summer Couple Style The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence Aubrey Yandow
Why Good Relationships Aren't Always Convenient The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
 Hey guys, it’s Aubrey again, I hope this post made you realize that Matt and I’s relationship is by no means perfect but rather always a game of trades. We’re both strong headed people but in the end, we move together to support each other in our goals and passions. In today’s times it can be so easy to focus on ourselves and what is important to us, Me Myself and I (am I right), but don’t let the idea of not getting your way stop you from pursuing the trials and tribulations of a relationship. 
 
I mean, who knows if Matt and I would even be together if I had made the choice to stay in New England and send him to Dallas on his own. I guess we’ll never know what the fate had in mind but I do know a move that started off as a major inconvenience for me has allowed me to grow as a person, business owner, and most importantly Matt’s stylist.
 
Which brings me to my next point how cute is the Vineyard Vines couple assemble? If you watched our how to improve your boyfriend’s style video you already know how obsessed Matt is with Vineyard Vines breaker pants, its a go-to for any special occasion. Oh and you can catch me in this light-weight embroidered dress all summer long, I’ve never gotten so many compliments on a striped dress before. Not only is it the perfect shift shape but it also looks great when paired with a jean jacket for cool New England evenings on The Vineyard. Okay, that’s all I have for you guys and please leave a comment below with your opinion on this article, would love to hear your relationship advice/thoughts.  
 
 
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How To Improve Your Boyfriends Style, This Spring

April 4th, 2018

If I’m being honest with you all, which I always strive to do, then I have to tell you that this is one of my favorite videos we’ve filmed to date. Today Matt and I are sitting down to share our style evolution, how I improved Matt’s style, and how you can improve your boyfriend’s style this spring. I would much rather style guys than gals because as a whole I think their style is more malleable. Basically, they are easier to ‘influence’ when it comes to testing out new looks, trying new styles and investing in new brands. 

I really hope you guys find this video helpful and learn a thing or two. As always PLEASE reach out with any questions or any boyfriend makeover stories of your own. I mean, we all know the best part of a movie is the makeover! On that note which movie makeover is your favorite? I think mine would be Princess Diaries for sure. We are so excited to bring you guys more videos soon, so make sure to subscribe to our channel here and check out our last video upload here!

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7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella

December 17th, 2017

7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey YandowMATT’S OUTFIT: 

Corduroy Pants || Wool-Blend Sweater   || Flannel Sports Shirt  

AUBREY’s OUTFIT: 

Pleated Tartan Wool Twill Dress  || Double-Faced Wool Coat || Shoes 


 

I think we can all agree that traditions are the backbone and the truly magical element that brings this season to life. Each of us, finds ourselves doing out of the ordinary things in public and instead of feeling odd, we feel a sense of comradery from other festive souls. For instance, my siblings and I, year after year, go to the mall dressed in matching outfits to see Santa, for my family’s holiday Christmas card. Now while going to the mall is completely normal, going in matching tulle skirts at the age of 23; might seem a tad odd, but to see other adults in ugly sweaters doing the same brings a little joy to my heart. 

To get to my point, traditions are the cornerstone of Christmas cheer, however, they aren’t always easy to come by. Family traditions are usually steadfast in your history but creating new holiday traditions for you and your fella, friends or even roommates, can be tricky to think of, at least that is how Matt and I felt. So we put our head to the grindstone to share 7-holiday traditions we partake in, in hopes to inspire you to start some of your own. 

7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Now while Matt and I will be home in Connecticut and together for the holidays this year, a lot of December we actually spend working in Dallas. Between a new city and constantly being bogged down with work, tis the busiest time of year, Matt and I try to break up holiday festivities by celebrating some together in Dallas and some annual ones in New England. All and all this is our second Christmas spent together in our cozy apartment and it’s finally starting to feel like we have our traditions in place. 

Okay so let’s jump into the Seven Holiday Traditions: 


 

1) Festive Holiday Photo Shoot – Year after year, since starting this blog way back in 2013, Matt and I have done a Holiday Photo Shoot together. It’s by far one of the posts I revisit most often, and you guys can check out last year’s holiday photo shoot post here. Each year we try to step up our game but one thing stays the same, our Brooks Brothers get up. We both wear head to toe Brooks Brothers because no other brand understands traditions better than this historic fashion house. Last year Matt and I went with wool themed outfits, but this year we couldn’t resist the Red Fleece tartan items. We love how affordable the brand has made these timeless and traditional holiday staple pieces, and we encourage you guys to make time to add this tradition to your list. 

2) Annual Movie Marathon – I usually spend Thanksgiving with my family in Connecticut while Matt spends his Thanksgiving in Dallas, but each year we plan our annual Christmas movie marathon for the day of my return. From the airport, we usually pick up boxes of Twizzlers, cookie dough, popcorn and Coca-Cola, before heading home to our couch to squeeze in our favorite holiday classics: White Christmas, Christmas in Connecticut and Home Alone. 7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

3) Plan a Holiday-Hookie Day –  I mean how could you not. Once a year in December, usually right before we head home to Connecticut, Matt and I plan a Holiday-Hookie Day. I’m guilty to admit that we do this, but it’s by far my FAVORITE tradition. We both call out of work and spend the morning exchanging our holiday gifts, followed by a trip to the mall (mid-day, so parking isn’t a hassle) and finish off the day by exploring Dallas along with purchasing a dessert or two. For me, this tradition is essential due to how hectic and stressful my schedule gets during this time of year, it’s an earnest reminder to stop and enjoy the season before it just passes us by. 

 

4) Yearly Ornament Exchange – I’m big on putting up a Christmas tree, and last year Matt and I went headfirst into picking out the perfect tree. We went to a Christmas tree farm, picked out the most elegant tree, hauled it up to our apartment, put it up, decked it out with lights to find out we actually had no ornaments, oops. So we decided each year to exchange ornaments on the day we put up our tree, as a funny reminder of our first Christmas together. Come December, we each go out in secret to find the perfect ornament and exchange ornaments right after we light the tree. It’s actually a really fun and inexpensive way to kick off the gift-giving season. You can view my ornament haul video here. 

 

5) Taking the Train into NYC before Christmas –  Okay, this is by no means a new holiday tradition, Matt and I actually started this tradition way back when we first started dating in 2009. Each year we take the train to NYC to see the holiday lights, ice skate at Rockefeller, visit Eloise at The Plaza and head to Max Brenner Chocolate Restaurant for dessert and hot cocoa. This year we plan on stopping first at Brooks Brothers’ Red Fleece Cafe for some coffee and warmth before hitting the town. I’d love to hear what city you guys like to visit for Christmas below!

 

6) Piling into the car, in our Christmas jammies, to check out the local neighborhood lights  –  Matt and I actually did this just the other day! We piled into the car and headed to Wethersfield to see the festive home with the synchronized holiday lights to Christmas music. Now, if you are from Hartford County, I’m sure you’ve seen this home for yourself. Getting in the car and taking in your neighborhood’s holiday lights is by far one of my favorite ways to embrace community during the holiday season. I personally feel like I really get to know my neighbors and their traditions from the little lights and inflatable Santas they place delicately amongst and on top of their homes. 

 

7) Drive until you find snow – Well this year we didn’t have to drive far at all because two weeks ago Connecticut had their first snowfall! Sadly, Matt and I missed it because we were wrapping up work in Dallas, so my family and I have made plans to drive up the New England coast until we find snow today! Whether that means driving a tad north or as far as Vermont is the greatest excuse to dust off our skis, take in scenic New England routes and explore the winter wonderland that is our home. I know a few of my friends in California have the same traditions and will be packing the cars up and onward to Lake Tahoe or Big Bear. 

7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

All and all, recreating annual traditions is by far my favorite way to feel connected, inspired and enthusiastic about the season and my current situation. It’s the perfect way to add perspective and acknowledge who and what really matters in the big picture, also it’s the perfect excuse to dress up or dress way down (Christmas jammies) all December long. Okay, now I’d love to hear from you all, what are some holiday traditions you revisit year after year? Let us know below. xx Aubrey 

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Thank you to Brooks Brothers for kindly sending Matt & I the above clothing items.  All opinions are completely my own.

Girlfriend’s Guide to Football Sunday

October 8th, 2017

Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

OUTFIT DETAILS

SweaterJeansShoesLipstick

Believe it or not, we are just about halfway through fall, and knee deep in one of fall’s many seasonal amenities…football season. Whether you’re watching football curled up on your couch all Sunday long, or getting dressed up in the appropriate colors to cheer on your local college team (Go UConn Huskies); football seems to be an underlining theme of this season.

In the past, I would have complained about the volume of games I’ve recently been pressured to watch, but after moving in with Matt just over a year ago, I’d say my love for football and the entire strategy of the game has evolved. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to yell at the TV or cry over buffalo wings when the kicker misses the field goal, but I do get why football fans are SOOO fanatic.

It really is a game of strategy, teamwork, and comradery; aspects I truly love. However some things are just darn confusing, so I’m here with a timeout card, ready to break down the essence of football with our Girlfriend’s Guide to Football Sunday

Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

 Below our team has broken down the essential guidelines of the game, and some elements you might want to brush up on before next Sunday’s game.

Girlfriend’s Guide to Football Sunday

Touchdown


 

Okay, before evening turning the TV on, it’s important to understand how your team can score and win points! Here’s a simple breakdown: TOUCHDOWN = 6 points, after scoring the touchdown your team can play the ball for a two-point conversion  = running the ball into the touchdown zone again for 2 points, or bring in the kicker for 1 extra point. Finally, a FIELD GOAL is worth 3 points.

Yellow Flags


 

A yellow flag means there is an issue on the field, which could be a

Blessing or a curse for your team. Below, we have listed some popular explanations for when those yellow flags go flying.

When your team is at the line of scrimmage you’ll hear the following flag terms:

FALSE START: when a player on the offense moves before the play started.  OFFSIDES: when a player on the defense moves before the play started. And finally, DELAY OF GAME: when the center doesn’t ‘hut, hut, hike’ the football to the quarterback before the play clock expires.

When your team is playing you’ll hear the following flag terms: HOLDING: this is when a player is restraining another player, who doesn’t have the ball, from moving. Holding is the most common penalty in football and is usually called when a defensive player is holding another player’s jersey.  PASS INTERFERENCE:  the defense must give the offense the opportunity to catch the football, so this penalty will be called only IF the defense player grabs the receiver’s arms or holds the receiver in a way in which he’d be unable to make a play.

Finally, sometimes your team plays a little dirty…and if so you might hear some of these flags being called: FACE MASK: when a player grabs another’s face mask and UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS: when the referees feel a hit was unnecessary, for example hitting another player with your helmet or being unnecessarily aggressive.

Okay, now that you are well informed with the meaning of those, oh so important, yellow flags; let’s cover two final elements of football that use to always confused me.Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

What’s a Down?


 If you’ve ever attended a Patriots game at Gillette Stadium then you have experienced the crowd screaming: ‘Patriot’s first down’. Yes, it’s fun to jump up and scream with the crowd, but this is also an important part of football to understand.

I find the easiest way to explain this is in baseball terms. Okay, in baseball you have three strikes then you’re out, well in football you have four downs then you’re out. So your team has four chances to move the ball 10 yards, and it’s the job of the defense to stop the offense from accomplishing this and if they don’t make 10 yards in four downs then they lose the ball (aka YOU’RE OUT!).

Finally…

What’s that Yellow Line?


 If you’re watching the game with your boyfriend and his friends, all huddled around your TV, you might have noticed that thin yellow line. That yellow line is important & to my surprise does not appear at the actual games, but rather just on your TV. To sum it up the yellow line shows how far your team has to go to get a new first down!Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Now that you’re up to par with all your football lingo, it’s time to put your knowledge to the test! This weekend is jam-packed with some timeless rivalries and I hope you spend your time enjoying the essence of football and those exciting moments with your friends. I’ve linked everything I’m wearing to this Sunday’s watch party below, and please leave a comment sharing your favorite football team; I love seeing who you all are rooting for! xx Aubrey

Photos by: Loreal Novoa Photo

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Don’t Overthink Dating

September 29th, 2017

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey YandowOkay, so every week I check my google analytics to see what posts you guys are currently loving on the blog and every week I see this post from 2014 in the top ten. It was probably one of my first ever blog posts, and I almost regret linking it as the images are eh, the poses are horrid and my grammar is less than up to par, but everyone has to start somewhere right.

Anyway, I felt it was time to update this post almost four years later. After re-reading the 2014 post, I realize not much has changed, I’m still horrible at picking up Matt’s calls and my friends are still begging me to write more relationship posts, so really we’ve come full circle here.

The only difference is that now Matt and I are another three years deeper into our relationship, we now live together, and social media has become a constant in everyone’s life; which has made this post even more essential to write.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

I still stand by the practice of calling over texting, because let’s face it, text messages are more calculated. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I’m just saying phone calls are good for getting to know each other, where text messages are more edited. Does that make sense? Think of it like snapchat vs Instagram; where Snapchat is like calling more raw, whereas Instagram is more filtered like texts.

Anyway, it’s three years later so I have bigger fish to fry than the importance of calling over texting. Today overthinking dating or even overthinking your OWN RELATIONSHIP has become even easier with social media.

From #couplegoals on Instagram to the easy swiping right on Tinder; dating in 2017 is rough and SO easy to overthink.

For instance, how many #couplegoals do we see on Instagram, I’ll be honest and say I follow at least five accounts just because I like their couple photo shoots, and as a blogger I know all the work that goes into planning such a shoot but as an individual I can see how these shoots can make you think twice about your own relationship.

I find more and more people overthinking their relationship because they are comparing it to others! & by doing that you are basically setting yourself up to fail.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Whether you’re stalking the guy you’re currently crushing on ex-girlfriend or annoyed with your boyfriend over his lack of Instagram worthy romantic jesters.

Overthinking your dating life due to social media is not a good practice.

My favorite part of my job is creating beautiful images for you guys. Whether that means getting a little too close to the edge at The Cliffs of Moher or spending an hour making 24 perfectly circle pancakes for this shoot, I want you guys to find inspiration in each image and for me, that means going the extra length.

Whether our posts inspire you to whip out a bowl and make pancakes, travel to Ireland or embrace a New England lifestyle of your own; we spend time planning and creating these moments to share.

& honestly, I love sharing photos of Matt and I, on Instagram and my blog, because heck, I love sharing him with you all but that doesn’t mean we are perfect.

We fight over silly things all the time, we draw straws over who’s going to clean the kitchen sink (my least favorite chore) and we are constantly bickering over which cereal to buy each week at Walmart. I like Cocoa Pebbles and Matt likes Captain Crunch, this week I won by the looks of the photos, so progress.

Overall, we have our ups and downs, and I hate to see people overthinking their OWN relationships because they are comparing it to others on social media. Whether it be a blogger, friend or celebrity; don’t focus on how perfect they are as a couple and how you’d like to emulate them, but rather celebrate your own relationship.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Matt and I are very aware of how slippery a slope social media can be, so we have set up some ground rules to take a break from it.

Every night around 7 PM we go on a walk, with no phones. We usually walk for about an hour and just focus on us. Secondly every Saturday we have pancakes and watch TV (usually football), now I can 100% say this usually doesn’t occur in bed because I’m a known spiller, but pancakes are OUR THING.

Finally, we spend a lot of time traveling, shooting and working on the blog together. By having these three things that are unique to us, it’s helped us focus less on others, and what they are doing over on social media and more on us.

So to sum it up. A large part of not overthinking your relationship or date is by not comparing yourself to others. Whether it be a first date, or eight years into a relationship like Matt and I. Everyone has their uniqueness, so focus on the good and eat a pancake or two.

xx Aubrey

P.S; I’ve recently gotten a lot of questions about our new headboard! You can read about how we purchased the headboard for half the cost in this post, featuring my current favorite app…Raise

The Raise Team was kind enough to send over a coupon code for your use. Use CODE: COASTAL to get $5 off $50 for new Raise customers! FYI, this code expires in 2018, so use it while you can! 

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How to make long distance work

August 30th, 2017
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
 
Hey I’ve recently gotten a lot of readers reaching out about one topic specifically, how to make long distance work…in college. & oh have I been there, and done that. For anyone that doesn’t know, Matt (my long term boyfriend) and I have held a relationship for 8 years, HOWEVER, four of those years were via a long distance relationship. I actually attended college in San Diego while Matt attended college in New York, so I’m talking about cross-country long distance, OH BOY. 
 
Before going any further, like every relationship post, I always encourage you to do what works for you, and I’m in no way saying what I did is the right way, but here’s my experience with the touchy topic that is long distance. 
 

How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
& like the OCD college note-taker in me, I’ve made a syllabus to help break the process down.
 
A) Distance DOESN’T Always Make the Heart Grow Fonder…
 
First off, let’s debunk one of those old-wives tales, aka, distance makes the heart grow fonder.  I get why people feel this way, and I believe this phrase is completely true for short time periods. It’s exciting going out in the world and having your own experience to bring back to the table, and it’s SO FUN reuniting and catching up like two peas in a pod.
 
Whenever I’m traveling for a shoot or to visit friends, without Matt, it’s fun and exciting to reconnect after one to three weeks apart; it’s like a relationship cleanse and yes, totally makes the heart grow fonder. BUT two months and up, without seeing each other is a different story. That’s when the debunking comes in because you get into the ‘drifting zone’ and we’ve all been there. How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
B) MOST IMPORTANT: The Drifting Zone…
 
Definition: It’s basically the point of no return, it’s that moment when your friend is telling you a story and you realize you have no idea who, what or where they are talking about. It’s the moment when you’re not able to relate….
 
I’m a firm believer that we have all or will all eventually experience, the drifting zone. Whether it be with a friend, relationship, family member or co-worker; some relationships just aren’t meant to stand the test of time, AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I’ve had plenty of friendships fizzle out, it’s just part of life.
 
Let me take a step back if you’re still confused as to what the drifting zone is, I’ll break it down further. Let’s say you’re a sophomore in college, look back at your high school friends, I’m sure there are some you’ve just drifted away from. Drifting is easy, and it’s usually a two-sided issue, and the scariest thing about drifting is that it’s the silent killer of relationships. You’ll always hear about the horrible stories of long distance relationships failing because of cheaters, because of a huge fight or because of jealousy; but to be honest, a lot of long term relationships fail because people just end up drifting apart. 
 
It’s hard having a relationship where your significant other or friend, doesn’t know your college friends, the environment you live in or your schedule/class load. I still to this day, have never been to Matt’s college campus and Matt still to this day hasn’t met all my California friends; which makes some exchange college stories, not as fun or interesting. 
 
So I get a lot of questions about how to prevent drifting and here are a few easy ways: 1) visit each other, 2) facetime and 3) active listening and engagement (get your friends on facetime, actively listen and engage with what they’re saying…always ask questions!). 
 
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
C) Jealous Jelly Bean…
 
By nature I’m not a jealous person, sometimes I think Matt wishes I was more jealous because it’s not an emotion I evoke. I always joked with my friends saying, I’m too focused on myself to spend time being jealous…which sounds horrible but is true. I was way too focused in college on launching my blog to be worried about who Matt was hanging out with on a Friday night or a girl he had a group project with. I had zero worries and my roommates always made fun of me for this, stating I was like the man in the long-term relationship. 
I just had a very relaxed approach to long-distance and I think that came from 1) not being a jealous person but also 2) by being confident in the relationship Matt and I have. We are both very (I hate this word) confrontational people, which meant if our relationship was going to blow up…IT WOULD BE APPARENT. We have very loud, strong and vocal communication skills; but I think that’s why long distance worked for us…if someone wasn’t happy they voiced it! 
 
Anyway, Jealous Jelly Beans are a NO GO for long-distance, and if you’re one of these beans, especially if you don’t like confrontation, then either rethink taking your relationship long-distance or readjust your attitude. How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
D) Conclusion: Keep Me Posted…
 
This was always and still is my go to line with long distance relationships. Keep me posted, was how I ended every phone call. Making yourself available via phone is really important, it’s kind of like being a life coach; if Matt had a group project, interview or test…I wanted to know about it. 
 
If you want to make long distance work than you NEED to stay up to date with current events, and constantly check up on them. No one like a friend that sits there and talks only about themselves, make sure to always stay up to date with what’s going on in your friends like and leave yourself open to hearing about it. 
 
Basically, keep lines of communication mutually beneficial and ACTUALLY LISTEN, because where your attention goes your energy flows! & here’s a NEWSFLASH, long distance takes up both a lot of time and energy so don’t be hasty.How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to Make Long Distance Work | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
 
Okay, so that’s my long-distance syllabus for the fall semester. Should I do a second one for spring semester? Let me know below, along with any other tips and tricks you guys have up your sleeves. xx Aubrey 
 
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Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night

August 18th, 2017
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
Matt & I have been quite transparent with you all, when it comes to our love of New England sports. It’s an activity both Matt and I love embracing, and unlike many preppy lifestyle blogs, I’m not talking about polo matches or croquet; no Matt and I are fans of the All American sports aka baseball and football. 
 
  The reason why we love these two All American sports so much is plain and simple. There is just something SO inspiring about the cornerstones in these sports: trust and teamwork I think that’s why I like watching both sports so much, from truly trusting your teammates to prevent you from an injury-prone tackler or working almost seamlessly together to get a baseball runner out, all within seconds is just REALLY admirable.
 
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
Anway, the level of trust, teamwork, and dedication these players have really is inspirational. Oh, and did I mention, Matt asked me to be his ‘girlfriend’ during the movie Fever Pitch when we were 14 (lol), so Fenway’s always had a fond place in my heart. 
 
 Overall Fenway night games in August are actually my ideal date nights, come summer in New England.  Whenever readers email me about summer date night ideas, I always recommend baseball games. Some cities even have pretty affordable nights, I know in San Diego you could attend a Padres game for as little as $25, that’s nothing! 
 
So today I figured I’d go over why going to Fenway is my Ideal Date Night, and below I’ve listed my top three reasons. 
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Fenway Is My Ideal Date Night | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 
 

1) Great Place to Chat 

Unlike a movie theater or play, baseball games are a great date night location because it’s easy to strike up a conversation. Let’s say it’s the first date and you’re nervous about awkward silences, no worries, just head to a baseball game there is so much going on, at all times, that it’s easy to strike up a conversation about anything. I always love doing double dates at Fenway, so many good memories. 
 
2) Make Memories 
Date nights can end up, blending together, especially when you’ve dated as long as Matt and I have, so by going somewhere exciting like Fenway you’ll probably end up documenting the date and having a more memorable night. I love being able to look back at all of our date nights at Fenway, so we make it a mission to document the nights, which makes them more special than a dinner date.
 
3) Afterparty? 

You know those dates where after the movie ends you are stuck looking at each other, wondering whether to the extend the date to a second location, or go your separate ways. Well the great part about Fenway is your in BOSTON, let’s say the date goes great you have several bars and restaurants within walking distance where you can extend your date organically, cutting out the awkwardness. 


 
& if that didn’t sell you on bringing a date to Fenway, don’t get me started on how terrific a Fenway Frank can be. So whenever Matt and I have a chance to slip away into either Fenway or Gillet Stadium, you bet we leave room for stadium food. Oh, and if hot dogs aren’t your thing they have Del’s Lemonade. 
 
Anyway, Matt and I are off to Ireland tomorrow and I can’t wait to bring you guys along. Make sure to head over to Instagram for more current details. xx Aubrey 
 
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The Engagement Timeline

July 20th, 2017

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Vineyard Vines Dress c/o || Shoes || Purse || Matt’s Pants  c/o || Matt’s Shirt || Matt’s Belt

Last month, I sent out an Instagram story asking for you guys to submit any and all relationship topics. 
 
I was overwhelmed with how many of you guys, submitted some hard hitting questions, which lead me to create some amazing content, like this post about why sharing a hobby, is essential and this post on 5 tips to maintaining fireworks in a long-term relationship
 
Overall Matt & I aim to bring you guys relatable and valuable content, so we decided to tackle your relationship Q’s head on. Oh, and just to clarify, just because we are answering these questions, doesn’t mean we know it all or that our relationship is perfect; we just aim to bring you valuable content.
 
Anyway, I digress…
 
When I was sorting through the questions, one question stuck out to me, and by the way, we backlogged some questions for future content so if we didn’t answer your question just yet, don’t worry.
 
The question that stuck out to me was the following: ‘I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years now and I am currently not so patiently waiting for my ring, opinions?’
 
P.S: to the TCC reader who sent in this question PLEASE email me an update, when he does propose.
 
Okay, so this question is a question, I get a lot but indirectly. I know a lot of people are going to have different opinions on this question, so I was tempted to not answer, but what the heck, I’ll share my opinion.

 

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Okay, as many of you know Matt & I have known each other for 8 years (long-timers). However I’d say we are pretty non-dependent on each other, Matt went to a school in NY & I went to school in CA, and life went on. Even though we live together in Dallas, I’ll spend weeks at a time in New England shooting content and we really aim to give each other time to do our own things.
 
Yet, since we spend a lot of time together, hanging out with friends, working on the blog and planning collaborations; it appears we spend 100% of our time together. Which is 100% not true, I’d say we spend about 60% of our time together because I like spending time with Matt, I’d even go as far as to say we are the best of friends.
 
If Matt wants to do something, great go for it. If I want to do something, great I’ll be doing it. We don’t HAVE to do everything together, yet because we’ve been dating for sooooo long and are always together, I constantly get the ‘engagement’ question (basically on repeat).
 
‘When do you think you’ll get engaged’ or even worse ‘when is he going to propose’ I really hate that question because my answer is always: NOT ANYTIME SOON.
 
To be honest, I really don’t know why, but getting engaged isn’t even a thought that crosses my mind.
 
I get so many questions about engagement timelines and if Matt’s going to propose, I even got a DM yesterday asking if I was wearing an engagement ring in a recent post (lol).
 
Let’s all agree that engagements are EPIC, like who doesn’t love watching people get engaged and go through the wedding process, but it’s just not on my timeline.
 
Whenever I say that people then follow up with the second question, similar to the question above focused on figuring out THE ‘engagement timeline’ and this is my opinion on this topic: 1) be on the same page with your partner & 2) DO YOU.
 

 

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

So let’s talk about point one:


 
1) be on the same page with your partner:
 
To the TCC reader that asked for my opinon, I’d say stop waiting and bring up the converstaion.
 
Okay, maybe it’s an awkward conversation, especially if you’ve already hinted/are waiting for an engagement ring, but I’m a New Englander through and through and if there is one thing we are good at and it’s being blunt.
 
So just go for it, bring it up, talk about a ‘plan’ could it be in 1 year, 5 years or not even on the to-do list yet. Talk about it, because nothing is WORSE than being on two totally different ‘timelines’.
For me personally, it’s not even on the to-do list, there are just so many things that Matt & I have yet to accomplish professionally, that I don’t even have time to think about adding anything else to our plates.
 

& I’m happy with the status quo right now, so don’t expect any engagement Instagrams from me anytime soon, guys.


 
2) DO YOU:
Okay, this one is important guys, I’m only 23 and already my Facebook is filled with relationship status being turned to engaged (ahh).
 
& I totally understand how you could get engagement FOMO, ESPECIALLY if you have been in a relationship for a long duration, like 6 years, which is a wicked long time.
 
BUT, listen to your gut on this one.
 
Getting engaged ISN’T like the ice bucket challenge, just because two of your friends have taken the plunge DOESN’T mean you have to be tagged to do it next.
& also remember everyone is in a different situation, so don’t pressure yourself into something you’re not ready for. For instance, I wouldn’t want to be engaged until I knew Matt & I were in a settled location and knew I had accomplished certain goals for my TCC brand.
 
Granted maybe that criteria means I’ll get engaged later than my friends and maybe that means other people who have been dating for a shorter time, get married before me; but I really don’t care.
 
So just do you!
 
& if you feel engagement is the next step for you and your partner, then open the conversation, because who knows maybe your significant other has goals on their timeline they want to accomplish before popping the question.

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Overall I guess the consensus is, there is NO one engagement timeline or rubric. To me, it doesn’t matter how many years you’ve dated, how much money you’re making or your age; to decide if you’ve passed the engagement timeline.
 
It all has to do with your gut, at least that’s what I think.
 
Anyway, I hope that was helpful & I’d love to know your opinion on the ‘engagement timeline’ below! xx Aubrey

 

& guys don’t forget to sneak a peek at Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale, it opened to the public today!  

Photography by Beckly 

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Tee Time Together: Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential

July 9th, 2017

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Matt’s Pants c/o || Matt’s Shirt c/o || Dress || Shoes || Scarf

I’ve always been a huge fan of the all-American game of, golf.

Actually, let me specify, I’m a fan of playing and dressing the part, but NOT a fan of watching it.

Anyway, it’s a classic game, the color pallet is ‘je ne sais quoi ‘, and who doesn’t like a sport that includes a cart! Win, win & a win. 

While I’ve always been a huge admirer of the sport, I never really took a swing at it (no pun intended) until this past year.

Once Matt and I moved to Dallas we decided it was important to really have a hobby, that we could work on together. 

Now don’t get me wrong, Matt spends plenty of time playing golf with ‘the boys, butttt it’s fun to get out on the course together! So once a month, with the aim to improve our skills, or I guess I should say the limited skills we have, we roll up to the golf course with the aim of working together. 

Whether that means going to Top Golf and working on accuracy or just hitting some golf balls for 30 min at the driving range, it’s fun and really essential to embrace a hobby together, plain and simple. 
Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Now, don’t take this post the wrong way, it’s UBER important to have your own thing!

So Matt has his work, video games, and sports, and I have my blog, part-time job and interns. We both have things and people that we are passionate about, that we can bring to the table and share with each other.

However having something that we like to do together; is JUST as important.

Sharing a hobby or a skill that you can master together, really builds ‘teamwork’ skills.

Blah, I hate even writing that, but it’s true!

Sports really do help to foster comradery and communication, which if you really think about it, is essential to having a solid and supportive relationship.

Right? Don’t we all want to have a partner that is a good teammate! Basically, sharing a hobby, is a fun and easy way to get on the same page while goofing around the golf course.

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

So whether your hobby is: shopping, movie-going, traveling, attending events together (sporting, concerts, lobster feasts and polo matches) or even something as simple as listening to podcasts together; having a designated hobby together, is all you need.

& it’s also way more fun to have a partner to celebrate your accomplishments with, like when you score your first birdie, which for me is something to celebrate!

Comment below if you have any hobbies you and your better half, partake in. I’d love to hear what you’ve accomplished together & Happy Monday. xx Aubrey 

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why Sharing a Hobby is Essential to Having a Happy Relationship | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Photography by Beckly 

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