Category Archives: Letters From The Editor

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence

May 21st, 2018

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey YandowWhether we are talking about food, movies or even bathing suits one thing is for sure, I know what I like and I stick to it, end of story. Call it being stubborn, boring or self-aware, in the end, I always choose the food I know I’ll like, no vegan food here, the movies I know won’t give me nightmares, and the fit of a suit that will make me feel confident and covered on the beach. I mean trends are great for inspiration and adaptation but feeling confident is all about having the right fit, am I wrong? 

For the longest time, I never shared pictures of myself in bathing suits on my feed or on this platform because I’m a conservative person by nature. I like midi skirts over minis, I’ve never owned a crop top I haven’t returned and I live by a good turtleneck for most of the year. So in previous years, whenever swim season came along I always dreaded finding a new suit, because there wasn’t a ton of options for one-piece suits in general. Until this year…

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

I’m going to be truthfully transparent in this post because I think finding your confidence on the beach has way more to do with knowing your own body and knowing what works for you, fit wise, more than anything else. So let’s break down my body, shall we? I’m 5′ 2”, size 6 and around 125 pounds, give or take a few pounds depending on the week. I carry most of my weight in my derriere and have proportional but petite limbs. Which brings me to why I like a one piece. 

The main reasons why I like a good one piece is that it contains my backend business to put it lightly. I use to feel so self-conscience about my butt hanging out, especially with the low rise bottoms that were usually paired with my two piece swim sets. Honestly, I could care less about the status of my stomach but was oh so obsessed with the concern of my bathing suit bottoms falling off! I mean I was like a serial flasher at the beach, from just simply jumping off the boat or getting hit with a big wave somehow someway, I felt embarrassed. 

Now once, I hit college and found myself spending more time at the beach in San Diego, I turned towards one-piece swimsuits. By college I knew my body, I knew what I was anxious about before heading to the beach and I purchased swimsuits accordingly. I mean this small switch in mindset about purchasing bathing suits on fit over trend, made all the difference for me and finding my beach confidence. The moment I found a one piece that allowed me to be active and move without concern, was the moment I felt my most carefree and myself on the beach. 

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Let’s say your stomach is something that concerns you, style this classic red peplum tankini top or let’s say you want to keep your bellybutton incognito like Taylor Swift did way back when…just try out this high waisted French inspired swimsuit. Or maybe you want to show off your rock solid abs, take this one piece with side cutouts for a spin. You get my point, but now more than ever we have almost unlimited choices when it comes to swimsuit fits so why not take advantage of it and try something different. 

Before heading on my most recent trip to Costa Rica, I decided to give their Playa collection a spin. I loved how this specific collection showed off skin in the back while still covering up the majority of my butt. Not only was it a little sexier than your average one piece but it also had high cut legs which make my little 5’2” legs look a little more 5’6” in person. I kid, I kid. Okay but really, in the end, it comes down to finding flattering fits so take some time and check out some of the bathing suits I’ve linked below. I’ll be damned before I hear another gal pass about a beach trip because they aren’t beach ready. I mean I’m never beach ready, in fact, I’m headed to McDonald’s right now to get a quick lunch before working some more, but I’m always ready for the beach. Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Why I Felt Insecure at The Beach, And How I Found My Confidence | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

I’d love to hear from you now, what is something you’ve felt insecure about and how do you turn the tables on your insecurities to feel confident at the beach? Let me know below and love you all. xx Aubrey

Shop My Swim Suit Styles: 

An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation

April 26th, 2018

An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-7

OUTFIT DETAILS

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I’ve always been a huge fan of personality tests, and I know I’m not alone here. If you’ve never taken a personality test before stop what you are doing and take this test real quick. The first time I ever took a personality test was for one of my management classes in business school and to say it’s enlightening is an understatement. I’ve actually had the same personality type since I took the test way back in 2012, and each time I reread my personality description it’s like hitting the nail on the head. Now whether you love personality tests like me, or hate them like Matt, it’s good to know what makes you jive and what burns you out. Which brings me to basically the nutshell of this post, how this INFJ maneuvered a week-long group vacation. 

If I’m being honest with you all I have always hated group activities. I mean, going to camp as a kid was a hard pass for me, in college, I attended the bare minimum of group activities required of me and I even avoided group sports, which is why I loved the swim team. I love being around people but I don’t necessarily ever want to be the center of attention or have to compete for a group’s attention. I mean it’s just not me. I hate the craziness of groups and I really value quality time with people over quantity. And if I’m being transparent  I just don’t think I get that quality time I need with people in a big group. I guess to sum it up my best friend in the entire world lives in San Francisco and even though I basically see her maybe once a year, she’s still my best friend because we always make room in our schedules for that quality time. We’ll call each other to just catch up and just have that present one-on-one time. I mean Jennifer sometimes knows more about the happenings in my life than anyone else because we both jive off of authenticity and present moments, not late night drinking confessions. 

An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-8
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-3
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-6
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-4

Okay before I get down and dirty with how I survived a group vacation, ‘champagne problems’ I know, but let’s chat about this outfit. The weekend before heading to Costa Rica I ran into J.Crew to return a bathing suit that didn’t fit and ended up leaving the store with wayyyy to much stuff. But what’s new!  When I walked into J.Crew I instantly fell in love with this retro pink jumpsuit, effortlessly styled on the mannequin and had to try it on. Matt has the most brutal fashion advice/criticism and I was shocked when I walked out of the fitting room and he LOVED the look. With Matt’s surprising approval and finally fitting into a jumpsuit that wasn’t too long for my 5′ 3″ body, I purchased the jumpsuit and paired it with these cat-eyed sunglasses and nautical ball earrings. It was probably my favorite look of all vacation and I think you can tell that by the energy of these photos. 

Okay now back to this group-vacation breakdown. Now, when I first found out that my dad decided to do a large group vacation I was raising the veto flag and waving it hard. For the longest time, I thought I avoided big groups because of social anxiety but really I avoid them because they just burn me the heck out. I jive off of getting to really know people one on one, hearing their thoughts, what they stand for and my favorite talking topic their life plans. I mean I love a strategic future more than anyone you’ve ever met. But my dad was pretty set on having a huge group vacation, so I used a few of the following tricks to keep my energy levels up and my attitude positive. 

An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-9
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-2
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-2-2
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-5

+ Have An Alone Day: I always say I’m an introverted extrovert. I always seem to be thrown into a decision-making position in the group, whether it is picking a restaurant, making the plans for an excursion or even something as simple as booking the hotel or checking people into airline flights. Somehow someway, I always end up with the power to make the decision, maybe that’s because by nature I’m a decisive person, but nothing drains me out more than having to make decisions for a large group of people who don’t want to make a decision. 

So halfway through the vacation, my sister Tessa and I decided to part from the group and have an alone day, and to be honest, it was probably one of my favorite days of the vacation. Having quality time with Tessa one on one, having space and clarity to create amazing video content and recharge my battery, was exactly what I needed to finish off the vacation strong. I did the same thing in Italy when I went with Jennifer for three weeks. While in Italy I passed on one of the excursions and took my laptop to a local cafe to sip on cappuccinos and watch the Lizzie McGuire movie ALONE. Maybe that’s weird but it was exactly what I needed to feel re-inspired. 

+ Do What Makes You Jive: I honestly work seven days a week from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I rest my head on my pillow and I LOVE IT! I mean I love every part of the process, from shooting the content to writing the content to actually getting to share it all with you all, I LOVE IT. I’m the happiest when I’m working, and for the first three days of vacation, I tried to ‘take a vacation’ from my job which was a rookie mistake. 

I did all the correct steps, I put my Out Of The Office reply message on all my contact forms and decided I’d check out for the full week…which ended quickly. By the third day of vacation I felt completely burnt out, I was literally over vacation and craving work. Weird? Maybe, but ruining The Coastal Confidence is what gives me energy so I quickly ended up diving back into work.

Of course, I wanted to fit in with the group and go out late for late night bar shenanigans but I just can’t do that on the daily. For people like Matt and my dad, who are strong extroverts, bar shenanigans are life to them but for me being at a bar is draining, I’d much rather be outside on the patio responding to your DMs or calling photos from that days shoot. Doing what makes you jive doesn’t mean your anti-social it means you’re putting yourself first. 

+ Try And Carve Out Alone Time With Individuals on The Trip: Again this one was essential for me to survive a week-long group vacation. Whenever I’m in a group bigger than six I just check out, I don’t even do it on purpose it’s just my personality. So I used moments like car rides, walks, or late night snacking sessions with whoever was in the kitchen, to get that quality time I really wanted. 

I mean did I get a chance to get to know everyone on vacation, no. In fact, I think I saw Matt like once the whole vacation, and that was for a photoshoot, BUT I did get to spend some quality time with people I rarely get to see. If you’re an introvert heading on a big group vacation maybe try to plan lunch dates or breakfast runs with the people you really want to get to know, hopefully, that tactic will give you the quality time you need. 

An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-2
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-3-10
An Introvert Guide To Maneuver a Week-Long Group Vacation | The Coastal Confidece Aubrey Yandow-4

Okay, that’s all the tips I have for introverts heading on a group vacation. In the end, I had a blast on vacation. Now, would I do another large group vacation over 10 people again, of course. The trip was so much fun and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, but I’m curious what personality are you?

Leave a comment below with your personality type or if you don’t want to take the test your horoscope sign below. I’m a Gemini which basically sums up my introverted extrovert personality, to the tee. 

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Photos by Tessa Yandow

How To Feel A Part of A City, While Being A Tourist

January 26th, 2018

How To Feel Apart of A City, While Being A Tourist-9048

OUTFIT DETAILS

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2018 is our year of travel and I know I’ve probably already stated that about fifteen times, but Matt and I are sooooo excited to travel as much as possible this year and to bring you all along. As some of you might know, Matt was assigned to work as an account manager in a Dallas office for two years, and with only six months left, we are really trying to cram in as many experiences as possible, before settling down back in New England.  

We kicked off our year of travel first with Central Connecticut, then Vermont and now Dallas. For the next two weeks, our crew will share posts pertaining to our favorite areas, neighborhoods, and restaurants that Dallas has to offer. Before we jump right into traveling guides and itineraries, I’m going to share one of my favorite travel tips with you all, how to feel a part of a city, while being a tourist. 

 I actually learned this trick through experience, when I was studying abroad in Florence. When you’re traveling it is so easy to feel lost or lonely, especially if you are traveling alone or for a long duration of time. I found that having a routine or a spot, that you can go to, to plan your day or finish off some emails each morning really made me feel more settled while traveling. To be honest, I’m by no means a world-traveler, in fact, I would much rather prefer to stay at home, but having this small morning ritual of; waking up, getting dressed, putting on my walking shoes and walking over to a local coffee shop or bakery; was a great way feel a part of whatever city I am in. 

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How To Feel Apart of A City, While Being A Tourist-8843

I kid you not, having a routine and getting outside of your hotel room in the morning and into a local spot, is the key to feeling a sense of belonging and community. First off it’s a great way to see what that culture treats themselves to for breakfast (yummm) and secondly, coffee shops are aesthetically set-up to bring people together in a collaborative environment. Whether you’re traveling alone and want to meet new friends or traveling with a friend and just want to hear the local gossip, coffee shops are a great way to feel out the local scene. 

 So the other morning Matt and I woke up and decided to explore a district of Dallas we had never visited prior. It was a beautiful day in Dallas, almost 70 degrees in January! And when we opened our car doors to the Knox-Henderson district, we could feel the energy and excitement this winter-heatwave had brought upon shoppers and locals. The streets were bustling and after passing about two coffee shops Matt and I decided on the Village Baking Co. Boulangerie. This shop was filled to the brim with a large variety of specialty baked goods and pastries to choose from, it was honestly hard to decide on what to purchase. So hard in fact that I ordered one breakfast croissant and two desserts, oops.  

Matt and I spent almost an hour and a half in the coffee shop talking to the bakers behind the counter and hearing the lengths they take to create such beautiful baked goods. Of course, Matt had to interrogate them about their espresso machine after he asked for an iced coffee and watched them make an Americano, his mind was actually blown. After we were both caffeinated and on a sugar high we departed the Baking Co. and headed outside to enjoy the fresh air and shops the district had to offer. 

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 How To Feel Apart of A City, While Being A Tourist-9050Again, I left the district feeling like I had a chance to feel it out. Maybe I’m odd, but I love figuring out what makes certain city districts unique and how they draw specific types of people in. Maybe that’s just the marketing major in me or maybe I spend too many hours reading books on Facebook Ad Targeting, but seeing how restaurants, coffee shops, and people can transform a small area into a ‘district’ with almost a life of its own, still amazes me to this day. 

Overall the Knox-Henderson district was thriving with a bustling restaurant scene and some amazing storefronts, I was grateful Matt and I had taken the time to get to know a new part of Dallas, well at least a new part for us. We can’t wait to bring you along with us next week for a few more of our favorite districts of Dallas, and until then I’d love to hear how you guys embrace community as a tourist. Leave a comment below, with any tips or ticks and have a great weekend.

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Why You Need Renters Insurance

January 17th, 2018

Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence

Oh boy. 

It’s been a while since I’ve had time to just sit down and unload the current situation Matt and I have found ourselves in. To be honest, it feels good to hit the pause button on New England content for a second and fill you all in on what has been the craziest start to 2018. Our TCC Crew jumped head first into 2018, aka our year of travel, by booking three trips in the next three months. Remember when I talked about using our vacations days and being over-ambitious in this post; well I 100% overbooked our schedules BUT I was happy that we were finally using our vacation days and making the most of what is going to be an amazing year. 

Anyway, on January 3rd I flew back to Dallas and decided to take a ‘half-sick day’. I knew our crew had a busy three months ahead of us and after being sick through the entire holiday season, I really wanted to take a day to myself. I simply wanted to watch Christmas movies, relax and rejuvenate my mind, body, and soul. I proceeded to turn my email auto-response on, told the crew I was sick (aka playing hooky) and got back into my pajamas to watch a whole bunch of Christmas movies. I made some hot tea, curled up onto the couch, put Christmas in Connecticut on and was ready for a peaceful and tech-free day. 

The joke was on me though guys, just 10 minutes into Christmas in Connecticut, I called Matt because our fire alarm was going off. Why did I call Matt? Mostly to complain because our fire alarm goes off almost monthly for ‘testing’, but as I’m on the phone with Matt I peer out of my window to see a downpour of water coming from the unit above ours straight onto the balcony.  

As I looked up at the amount of water coming down from the above unit, all I could say was…Matt this isn’t good.

After hanging up the phone I quickly gathered Eloise (our cat) and headed outside to notify the office. Matt was on lunch break so within 15 minutes he met me outside of the apartment, to go back up and investigate. I waited with Eloise in the car only to hear a frantic Matt screaming EVERYTHING IS UNDER WATER. Our entire apartment, minus our newly furnished bedroom, which you can see here, was calf deep in water. Let’s just say this was the least relaxing sick day, I’ve ever taken.  

Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence
Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence
Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence
Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence
Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence

Now looking back, Matt and I were extremely fortunate that I had been home for the flooding. We were able to get Eloise out of the apartment and into a dry place, whilst moving our expensive items like TVs, computers, flash drives, photos and sentimental things to a dry place (aka our bedroom). Basically, the pipes in the apartment above us broke, leading their sprinkler system to go off and flood their entire apartment, and our apartment got the aftermath as water came in from the ceiling completely destroying things like our couch, rugs, chairs, blankets etc. I mean the water was pretty nasty and ended up staining a majority of our furniture. 

Overall, Matt and I were so lucky that nothing that couldn’t be replaced got damaged and we were wise enough to have invested in renters insurance; which brings me to our post today. I honestly thought renters insurance was silly. I kept telling Matt things like: we don’t need it, I’ve lived in apartments before and nothing has ever happened, and basically every excuse in the book to talk him out of it. However Matt refused to budge on this issue and we ended up investing in renters insurance and honestly looking back, THANK GOD FOR MATT. 

With the help of our insurance company this issue has been quickly resolved and dealt with but without them, we would have been in a serious loss. So Matt’s going to take over and give you a few tips and tricks as to why you need renters insurance:  

Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence
Why You Need Renters Insurance for Your Apartment | The Coastal Confidence

Why you need renters insurance: 


 

Many people like Aubrey don’t see the importance of insurance until a loss occurs like a flood, fire or car accident, and once this happens frankly it’s just too late to recover all of your damaged items. Your everyday items like your phone, laptop, clothes, and home decor values add up and you will quickly realize that after a loss. We are very thankful that we invested the $100-150 into a renters insurance policy because everything that was damaged from the loss will be paid for, providing us with the funds to repurchase the items. 

Another thing Aubrey didn’t consider when considering insurance was, where do you stay or eat when an incident does occur? Now, if you’re lucky enough to live near family, maybe you can bunk up with them, but with no immediate family in the Dallas area, Aubrey and I were out an apartment and in need of a place to stay. Again, thankfully we invested in renters insurance because they too provide us with funds to stay in a hotel and purchase meals until our apartment is habitable, which ended up being over two weeks in our circumstance. 

First and foremost, it is very important to talk to your landlord or apartment complex about their insurance policies before signing your lease, because many places only offer liability coverage within your agreement. This means that you’ll have coverage for the property itself but none of your personal items would be covered in the event of a loss. This is something that many college students including myself didn’t realize until our computers and TVs were stolen from our dorm room. It was our fault for just expecting the college to cover our personal property and not take the initiative of finding out what insurance policy we had while living at college. If your apartment complex’s insurance doesn’t cover PERSONAL PROPERTY or LOSS OF USE then invest the $100-150 into a renters insurance policy. No matter how you roll the dice, it’s not easy enduring a loss, especially if your personal and sentimental items end up damaged but having an insurance policy is a safety net that will make you rest that night knowing all of your items will be financially covered.


 

All in all, I hope this post inspires you to take a second out of your busy week to consider your insurance policy. Trust me when I say it’s literally the last thing I want to do, but looking back I’m so thankful Matt nagged me into signing the contract. On an exciting note, Matt and I are moving back to our unit today, and I can’t wait to have a kitchen again. Please leave a comment below if you’ve had a similar experience or any other insurance tips and tricks. 

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5 Reasons Why You Should Use All Your Vacation Days in 2018

January 5th, 2018

5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

I will always be a high-strong and slightly over ambitious person when it comes to running The Coastal Confidence. I honestly think the fact that I can admit that is a huge step in the right direction. Naturally, I’ve been known for not delegating enough out to crew members, while double-booking myself, as I desperately try to cram in as many photoshoot sessions as possible, while in New England. I often feel like I don’t want to burden others, so I just shove more and more onto my plate until my plate shatters, and boy did it fall apart over the holiday break.  

I was in New England from December 15th – January 2nd and my over-ambitious personality thought I’d be able to fit in eight video shoots and twenty-four outfit shoots within that time period. Honestly, I was just straight-up delusional. The holiday season should be a time spent with family, friends, and community; instead, I spent my holiday season jamming in photoshoots between holiday parties, NYC adventures and Vermont ski slope runs. 

I was waking up at 6:00 AM for photoshoots with my sister Tessa and editing photos until 1:00 AM; I was quite literally running myself into the ground. I over-extended myself and it left me with not only a 72-hour stomach bug (on Christmas Eve) but also a nasty cold. Overall, my ambitious habits left me sick for basically my entire trip home and I’m actually still sick writing this post now. My crammed in schedule resulting in my trip home, being the definition of a let-down. Our crew ended up only filming four videos and twelve outfit photos, which was pretty disastrous for my ego. 

5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
 Ending 2017 on that note was not ideal but 2018, brings a fresh start to the table and most importantly new perspective. Not being in New England 100% of the time has made my job increasingly hard, but this year instead of cramming in as much as possible, while in New England; Matt and I are going to use each and every one of our vacation days and bring you along for…let’s call it the year of travel.  

We’re going to actually use our air miles to bring you guys along to our favorite cities! Travel has always brought a cloud of anxiety for me, in terms of creating blog content, so while the written content will be true to New England, the pictures might be a little more travel-focused or out-of-the-box; and I hope you guys enjoy it. Anyway, to get to my point, if you’re a workaholic, a type A boss, or just a destructively overambitious person like me…listen up because here are 5 Reasons Why You Should Use All Your Vacation Days in 2018: 

5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

 # 1 Recharge – I know from firsthand experience that when you overwork yourself, you often end up causing yourself the unnecessary mental stress and often become even less productive and in my case sick. Ideally you would think that working non-stop makes you a go-getter but actually, it can reduce both your productivity and quality of work; so give yourself a break and come back to work refreshed and recharged. 

# 2 Perspective – I mean this point is reason enough to use all your vacation days. Having perspective is really important especially in the blogging industry. It is so easy to get caught up in what others are doing, why a certain image didn’t get that many likes or why you didn’t nail down a specific partnership; all of these things are completely situational but when you live, eat and breath your job; situational things can start to feel personal. So giving yourself a break can really help you see the BIG PICTURE, and focus more on the purpose of your job instead of the nitty gritty of it.  

# 3 Inspiration – Take your vacation days and go see something, someone or somewhere that will fuel your inner fire. Whether that’s visiting a new city, a friend in a foreign place or a country you’ve been dying to attend; get out there and live life. Whenever I feel like my content has gotten stagnant, I try to book a quick flight to the cheapest city nearby. Traveling really adds a breath of fresh air into my soul and my brand. 

5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
5 Reasons Why You Should Use Your Vacation Days | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

# 4 Mental Health – Recently I’ve gotten into the app Headspace[headspace.com], if you haven’t heard of headspace before, basically it’s an app that provides guided meditation sessions and mindfulness training to you daily. I started the app back in December and I’ve really gotten into the idea of giving your mind down time and space. In fact, after using the app for just two weeks I noticed a difference in my overall attitude and stress levels, making me realize that vacation days shouldn’t be used to just sleep and recharge your body, but also to give the mind a break. Let your mind wander, read a book, do a puzzle, see a movie; giving your brain a vacation day is key to boosting creativity and new ideas.  

# 5 Reflection – The start of a new year can be exciting and inspiring but taking your Vacation Day can be too. Use your time off to reflect on your goals, where you are in life and where you want to be. Connect with yourself and put systems in place to achieve those goals that you’ve temporarily placed on the back burner, then head back to work with a new game plan for your career and life. 

I hope this post inspired you to put ‘the grind’ in perspective. Sometimes all you need is to take a break and get outside of yourself, in order to really have a breakthrough. 

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2017 Yearly Rundown

December 31st, 2017

NYE Style and 2017 Recap -4105

NYE Style and 2017 Recap -4056
NYE Style and 2017 Recap -3973

Silver Dress c/o|| Leopard Faux Coat (ON SALE!) || Silver Shoes (ON SALE) || Earrings  

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018! The start of the new year is always an exciting time, as it feels like the start of something new. While I’m naturally an overly optimistic person, which often means I love looking to what’s next, I find it necessary to look back at what we’ve accomplished. With the year closing, we’ve experienced some highs and lows, along with some pretty big changes that we’d like to recap exclusively with our TCC Readers.

The Highs:


 

This Weekly Newsletter – Getting this newsletter off the ground and running has always been a HUGE GOAL of mine. However, consistency was always an issue, as I would often end up publishing the newsletter later if at all. So I have to give a special thank you to our TCC Crew Member Cecelia, our weekly newsletter would not be where it is today if it wasn’t for her.

Expanding our Crew – This year we added TWO new members to the crew! Our TCC Operations Manager Cecelia and our TCC Videographer Tessie. By adding these two new members to our crew, together we’ve finally been able to create content that would have otherwise been impossible.

Working with Dream Brands – After running this blog since 2014, exactly four years ago now, our crew has finally gotten the chance to collaborate with some of our favorite brands. Getting to creatively collaborate with brands I’ve always looked up to, as both a consumer and marketer, feels like a “pinch me” moment.

The Lows:


 

Moving – I don’t really want to say moving to Dallas was a low because Matt and I have had so much fun here, but it does mean that our crew is constantly scattered; which can make producing content that much harder. We’ve really learned to love those good old Facetime Conference sessions and I look forward to the day where we are all located in New England.

The Business Side of TCC – This year I really struggled with separating my brand content (creative) with my brand collaboration and business side. It’s hard to negotiate and determine your collaboration agreements without either feeling narcissistic or undermining your worth. This was something I really struggled with, so Matt stepped in as our TCC CFO. His role on the business side has really helped our creative crew stay focused on creating and leaves Matt to communicate with brand’s, which can sometimes feel overwhelming.

Some Pretty Big Changes:


2018: TCC Brand Expansion – This is a BIG year, let’s call it a make it or break it year for the TCC Crew. I honestly can’t say much more than that. I’m a top secret creative, I don’t like to share anything until I’m 100% sure we have the green light. So all I can say, for now, is look forward to some content that’s raw, uniquely New England, and something that hopefully will positively affect our New England community. Can’t wait to bring you guys along.

2018: Travel Time – This year is going to be a big year for us, travel wise. With three trips already planned, our crew hopes to bring some international inspiration to our readers near and far. 

2018: Moving? – In 2016 Matt and I relocated to Dallas Texas for work. Now that it is 2018, our two years relocation time period is almost up, which means this could be a big year for us with a location change. While moving can be stressful, I can’t wait to see where we might end up and whether we rent or buy, WHO KNOWS! 

 

Overall, we wanted to end the year on a grateful note! Our crew is so grateful for each and every one of you; between the kind messages you send our way, to getting to finally meet a few of you in person, our main goal for 2018 is truly connecting more authentically and in real time with all of you. Happy 2018 guys, and below I’ve recapped some of our favorite moments from 2017, wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year! xx Aubrey. 

January:invest-in-yoursel

winter-wool-the-coastal-confidence-1
Scenic Route Photo Run - The Coastal Confidence - 2

In January, Matt and I were starting to feel settled in Dallas. For a while I struggled with working from home in a city that I knew no one in, to be honest, it was really lonely. In January I branched out and ended up getting a part-time job at one of my favorite retailers, to meet local Texans. This change really uplifted my mood and allowed me to connect with people I’d never otherwise have met. January is the perfect time to branch out, meet new people and further invest yourself in your local community. 

February:How We Surprised Matt with Super Bowl Tickets- The Coastal Confidence - 2

How We Surprised Matt with Super Bowl Tickets- The Coastal Confidence - 6
valentines day - the coastal confidence - 7

In February my parents were kind enough to help me surprise Matt with tickets to the Super Bowl! Matt has always been a football fanatic, and with the Super Bowl being in Houston on his birthday weekend, the cards just kind of fell into place and we were able to find tickets two days before the big game on Craigslist. You can read about the big surprise and our time at the Super Bowl in this blog post

March:My College Experince -40

gingham at the harwood grove -5415
New England Closet Staple - The Yellow Jacket-11

APRIL:Eating Healthy on Vacation-7868

Pineapple Shorts in Aruba-9637
On Island Time-8571

In April my family, Matt and I, went to Aruba for Easter. Both Matt and I are so fortunate to have both the time and ability to travel with ease. To be honest my job and content can feel a little stagnant, so having time to relax is key when it comes to recharging your batteries to get your creative juices back. Make sure to check out our recap of our Aruba trip here, here and here.

MAY:Lakeside Style-3614

7 Tips on Moving to a New City after College Graduation-4971
The Perfect White Tee-2699

JUNE:72 Hours in Westin-5159

Afternoon on the Riverwalk -5614
Serendipity- Turning 23 & Birthday Week-4584

June is always a jam-packed month for our TCC Crew, partically because it’s my birthday month and because New England’s lifestyle truly takes on a life of its own come summer. Matt and I packed June with Texas roadtrips like Austin, Gruene and San Antonio; before heading back up to New England to capture the coastline. 

JULY: How to stay cool and stylish in the summer heat-0573

How I edit my blog photos-0884
How to create a media kit for your blog - The Coastal Confidence

AUGUST: How to make long distance work -7699

How to make long distance work -7969
How to come up with content, for your blog_3449

In August, Matt and I planned a last moment trip to Ireland. Visiting Ireland was actually on our 2017 Bucket List,  you can see everything we had on the bucket list in this recap post for 2016. So basically, we jumped at the opportunity to visit Ireland once the flights had dropped. You can view our Irealnd trip here, here, here and here

September: Falconry at Ashford Castle-8673

Cliffs of Moher-6929
My Closet Staples, for Fall in New England 2 - C

OCTOBER:5 Best Corn Mazes in CT - The Coastal Confidence

AUTUMN ESSENTIALS-0822
Brooks Brothers' HOCR style
 Girlfriend's Guide to Football Sunday-53

NOVEMBER: November Bucket List-8705

Thanksgiving Travel Tips-6965
Thorncrest Farm & Milk House Chocolates-5851
Scallop Hem Cape along with Mistletoe and Holly-1879
Holiday Ice Cream Bar with Graeter's-2-12

DECEMBER: 7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella-3426

Three Holiday Party Hairstyles-0231
Frosted Window Panes and Leopard Coats-1013
7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Fella-3186
holiday photo-0531

SHOP MY 2017 FAVORITES: 

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

November 3rd, 2017

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break OutsideDress (sold out, similar version without zippers linked) || Coat (ON SALE) || TIghts || Boots ||  Necklace

You guys, it’s here, well not quite but it’s right around the corner…it’s ALMOST the busiest time of the year. It’s not only busy for retail employees but for basically everyone. From workers (the TCC Crew is jammed) to students (finals and term papers); to say this time of year is exhilarating is an understatement but don’t let the craziness of this holiday season wear you down. 

& while I’m 100% one to dive headfirst into overloading on work, I have to say recently I’ve discovered a new trick to rejuvenating my work ethic. It’s super simple, but recently I’ve been stepping outside for my 15 min schedule breaks and it’s been a game changer.

As many of you know, I work from home which is both a pleasing and a curse. Personally, I thrive on deadlines and structure, so I created a scheduled workday, from the minute I get up until 5:30 PM I’m go-go-go and because of this I often found myself skipping lunch and limiting my productivity.

One day I was so run down, I knew this had to stop, so I decided to start including three fifteen-minute breaks throughout the day. These breaks were mainly meant to reset my eyes from the constant glare of a computer screen but quickly developed into much more. Over the last few months, I’ve been stepping outside for my three breaks and to be honest it’s resulted in a HUGE improvement in my productivity. 

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside
5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside-3394
5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside
5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

The goal of our TCC Crew is to bring you content that inspires you towards living a New England lifestyle, which of course means being the most productive version of yourself, so we had to share why these outside recess times improved our workflow, along with 5 reasons you should take YOUR coffee break outside. 

 

1) Produces a Clear Headspace: I often find that taking a 15 min break, in your workspace limits your ability to reboot. Ideally, when the time has arrived for me to take my break, I make sure to get outside and change my scenery. Whether that means going for a walk or running to Dunkin Donuts; by getting outside an interacting with people outside of my workplace, provides me with a new sense of determination and clarity. 

 

2) ‘Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy’ – Elle Woods:  Now, I’m not a fan of running, in fact, I’m not quite sure if I could even squeeze in a full mile during one 15 minute break, but what I do know is that I spend each of my breaks moving. I’ll spend that time outside running to a coffee shop, walking around my yard or if it’s raining walking on a treadmill. By moving my body and getting my blood pumping, I can really feel those endorphins kick in and any stress I had previously start to release. 

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside-3372

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside
5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

 

3) Speaking of Stress: Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed with my inbox. When I first started blogging, I really disliked when bloggers would say their inboxes were stressing them out. Personally, I figured a full inbox meant lots of collaborations and thus a highly profitable business. However today, I realize that my inbox is 20% official collaborations, 20% reader questions, and 60% emails I need to politely decline. 

 

A huge chunk of my time is spent going through my inbox and saying ‘no’ to companies, brands or even events that just don’t make sense for the TCC brand. Saying no to brands, even huge brands that we personally love, but just aren’t the right fit is hard, can be really hard. So by getting outside and turning my data off, it gives me time to process the no’s we’ve given and received. Not only does it give me time to process but also allows me to refocus on our brand’s end goal. Going outside creates a buffer between admin-work and creative work

 

4) A New Perspective: My favorite Gilmore Girl once said ‘Perspective is the most important thing to have in life.’ and I literally couldn’t agree more with Lauren Graham! A change in perspective and scenery is really important in gaining new insights. A lot of what our TCC Crew creates and writes about is by getting in the car and going. Whether that means traveling to a new town in New England, to feature in our TCC Newsletter or by even asking readers’ their opinion; these tiny acts and outside perspectives, honest to God, shape our brand every day! Get outside and refocus, re-shift and reprioritize your perspective! 

 

5) Just breath:  Okay this might sound weird but there is nothing I love more than stepping outside and breathing in that crisp autumn air. I’m the first to admit that working at home often means getting cozy with my laptop, under a mountain of blankets and with the thermostat set at a solid 72 degrees; doesn’t that just sound perfect?! 

While it sounds perfect it often puts me in a lethargic mood, so my last reason for taking your coffee break outside is to re-energize your body with fresh air. I know it might be a little chilly outside, so grab your jacket and maybe a scarf (learn how 5 ways to style a scarf here) and hit the road. Trust me your creative juices will start flowing. 5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside
5 Reasons You Should Take Your Coffee Break Outside

Okay, that’s all I got! I’d love to hear from you guys. Do you like taking your breaks outside? Let me know your thoughts on this post below! xx Aubrey. 

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Importance of Self-Care this Fall

October 13th, 2017

Importance of Self-Care this FallCold Shoulder Velvet Dress (SIZE UP!) c/o  ||  White Heels || Purse (old similar linked) || Lipstick

This time of year is by far the busiest for me in all aspects of life. It’s the most exciting and important time to create relevant content for our TCC readers, which results in my calendar being filled to the brim. 

On any given week, from now until January, you’ll see my calendar is filled with events to be attended, holiday parties to be danced at, football games to cover, and networking events to attend. In fact, I just wore this dress to a blog function I attended last week! 

To put it frankly this time of year is my favorite because I thrive when I’m overbooked and running from this meeting to the next. It’s a tad weird, I know but having a lot to accomplish in a short time span, really makes me go the extra mile and get creative. Which is odd, because I was never good about working under pressure. 

Anyway, as our crew warms up the engines to go full steam ahead, we are for the first time ever preparing new content almost seamlessly. With new New England travel newsletters, every Sunday (sign up here), expanding our Youtube channel to weekly videos and working on new ways to make TCC the ultimate New England lifestyle guideline; The Coastal Confidence is finally performing at full capacity and I couldn’t be happier. Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2090

Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2250
Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2231

However with all this excitement and new projects to take on, I constantly end up putting my own well-being on the back burner and each year I end up crashing and saying to myself, Aubrey will you ever learn. 

Last week, was insane I worked an additional 20 hrs at my part-time job, spent two full days shooting content one of which was a day filled with fire ants (read more about that here) and had a project that needed to be finalized, delayed. It was one of those hectic weeks, so I decided to work extra hours, skipped the gym and buy food instead of making it. 

& oh boy, am I feeling the consequences this week. 

I woke up the other day with a fever, a long to-do list and a froggy voice to boot. All because I decided to take on too much and literally run myself dry, ugh. This is a yearly reality check I usually get way closer to the holiday, but it reminds me that my number one job is to be healthy.

This time of year can be very exciting but also demanding on us mentally and physically, so I urge you to take time for self-love and self-care. If that means saying no to an additional shift, a friend visiting or grocery shopping; in order to stay in bed and watch Hocus Pocus, so be it. Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2140

Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2303
Importance of Self-Care this Fall-2326

I know whenever I’m getting overwhelmed or feeling pressured, the first things I cut from my to-do list are self-care things. For example: applying makeup, going to the gym, cooking dinner, phone calls with friends and me-time; all of these above things are activities that keep me sane and by cutting my me-time, I end up sacrificing my health. 

I’m a person that needs a lot of sleep and I’m horrible at saying no if someone is sick and needs coverage or if a brand has an event they want me to attend, but sometimes it’s okay to be behind on your to-do list and say no to taking on extra activities. 

I feel like sickness comes on quickly during this time of year, as one moment, I’m feeling really great about taking on the extra work, and by the end of the week, I’m sick in bed with a fever. So for this upcoming season, I’m challenging myself to carve out more me-time by doing the following: I subscribed to a new gym closer to my apartment, I blocked days in my calendar dedicated to catching up and I blocked off this whole weekend for nothing other than catching up on Netflix. 

The reason for the upcoming season is giving, so make sure to carve out some self-care time in advance in order to put your best foot forward in the exciting weeks to come! I’d love to hear your self-care go to activities below, xx Aubrey. 

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Applying to College and Picking a Major

September 20th, 2017

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey YandowSweater c/o || Vest c/o || Purse || Shoes || Jeans 

I can vividly remember six or seven years ago submitting my Common Apps to fifteen colleges in total (oh boy). I had colleges in Boston picked out, colleges in Virginia and of course a few randos like Denver, San Francisco, and San Diego; and life just kind of sorted itself out for me. 

Recently I’ve gotten questions from younger readers asking to break down my experience with applying to college and deciding on a major, so this one goes out to you guys. 

Also before we start, you can read more about my college experince hereHow to apply to college and pick a major-9530

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Applying to college was a process I LOVED. I enjoyed touring the schools, I loved taste testing the food in the cafeteria, and I especially loved buying my college gear at the end of the tour. I was 100% on board with the entire process. 

So, being type A, I was prepared way ahead of time. When I applied for college there was a check-list and mine was checked off across the board. My SAT’s were done (I took them three times, once I even took them behind Matt when I had a nasty sinus infection and let’s just say…it was interesting) my essays were written and my Common App was all filled out. How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

When November 7th came, I was ready in advance so submitting my applications for college, was basically stress-free.  In hindsight, I was very lucky to have applied to all fifteen schools because in total I only got into, seven of them…so just under half. My number one school at the time was Wake Forest, which didn’t play out for me but my second choice was San Diego for obvious reasons. 

I figured this post would be a good time to be brutally honest about the college application process…How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

The truth is, you don’t know what’s going to happen. So it’s ALWAYS better to apply to more schools to give yourself the OPTION of choosing. I’ve seen way too many peers crushed when they only applied to schools they were ‘guaranteed’ to get into but didn’t, and I too experienced that. 

I can also remember applying to a ton of schools, all different ranges and the day before the deadline for Babson (which by the way is a very prestigious business school for entrepreneurs) my dad said just apply. So I wrote a mini essay about my love of New England and Red Sox and didn’t think twice. 

After getting a few no’s from schools that I ‘qualified’ for I got a letter from Babson saying I was in. I was shocked, I was under qualified, put zero effort into the mini essay, because I thought there was NO WAY I’d get in, and bang I did. 

So the one thing I took away from applying to college is ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, so give yourself options and apply to a range of colleges. 

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
How to apply to college and pick a major | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

The other popular question I’ve received recently, from those of you looking to pursue a college degree is how to pick a major. 

I’m going to come right out and say, I was very lucky. I always knew I wanted to do marketing/business, to be honest, I think I decided on it way back in fifth grade and from then on it never switched. 

For me it was as easy as picking a topic that I loved and wanted to learn about, however, there are what feels like thousands of majors to choose from today, so don’t get discouraged if nothing catches your eye right out of the gate. 

Your first year of college can be dedicated towards core classes, so use that time to meet with teachers, department heads and prospective mentors in fields you’re interested in. 

I’d also recommend keeping the following in mind when deciding a major: 

  • What do you want to do post-college? 
  • How will this degree/training help you get there? 
  • Is this something I’m interested in? 

The questions above should help you pick the right major for the right reason. I can’t tell you how many friends went to the school of business of accounting, for the sole reason of a large paycheck. In the end, many of them had to switch majors, because going into something for the idea of money…isn’t the best plan. 

So keep your ears open and your motives pure and you all will be fine. 

Okay, I’d love to hear what college you guys went to and which major you picked! I love learning about you guys, xx Aubrey 

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When to say no, in business & life

September 15th, 2017

When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Jean Dress (on sale for $99!) || Shoes || Jacket || Necklace || Camera

Overall, I love every aspect of my job and I’m very fortunate for that. This doesn’t mean that I’m good at every aspect, but I love being challenged. Whether that means learning a new photo editing tool, researching a new social media platform or dipping my toes into vlogging; my job is interesting because it challenges me, and boy did it challenge me the other day. 

A big part of my job is working with PR firms and brands, both of which I love doing. I would say 99% of my interactions with PR firms and brands are fun, exciting and most importantly mutually beneficial. 

The other day though, I cracked.When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Recently I’ve had a few encounters in my inbox where I look at Matt and sigh, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING. 

Before I go in any further into this topic, I want to start by saying I’m not naturally a pushover but rather I’m an aggressor. I like to take a problem or a challenge and tackle it head on, I like to talk things out in person until it’s done and I’ll admit sometimes I have to go back and beat a dead horse, but it’s my way of processing and in the end, I do give and take. 

So when someone emails me wanting something, instead of just ignoring it (passive) or saying YES to EVERYTHING (pushover), I try to find a common ground. 

My goal is to always be rational and kind. I try to use phrases like ‘mutually beneficial’, ‘I see where you’re coming from’ and my favorite line ‘I understand’ because the truth is, I do get it. 

But recently, I’ve had to learn to stop beating a dead horse and just say NO sometimes. & guys this has been really hard for me and I’m sure many of you can relate.  Saying NO to a possible long-term collaboration or job offer is horrifying especially if it’s with a brand or company you love, but in life knowing when to say no is essential. When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Anyway, back to my story, so I was chatting with a firm that reached out to me representing a brand I loved and I really didn’t want to turn them down. I was basically jumping through hoops, spending hours pitching ideas, making budget sheets and being over accommodating which sometimes isn’t a good strategy. 

& the emails I was receiving back basically had no regards for my time, the energy I’ve spent on the project or the money I would have to spend to carry out the collaboration. 

To sum it up, it was TOTALLY a one-sided deal and when the twelfth email came back with just a quick four lines and a passive aggressive … ending, 

I cracked. I had tried every angle to make it work, and instead of wasting any more of my energy, I turned down the collaboration. 
Not only was the overall conversation tone belittling towards my blog, brand and myself; & it reminded me that IT’S OKAY to stand up for yourself, to stop jumping through another hoop; it’s okay to say NO sometimes. 

When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
When To Say No, In Business & Life | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

So after experiencing similar encounters more and more frequently, I wanted to touch base and talk about it. Let’s talk about how I decided when to say no, in business and life. 

NO in Business:  When to say NO in business is when a deal is not mutually beneficial. 

I can’t tell you the amount of times, I’ve had brand’s ask me to create high-quality content for them with no ROI. Now ROI doesn’t always mean money, sometimes it’s product, sometimes it’s attending events and sometimes it’s as simple as creating content for exposure or to get reposted. 
But no matter how big the brand or boss is, don’t feel like your time isn’t valuable. If your gut is saying, you’re being taken advantage of, it’s time to step up to the plate and say something. At this stage in my career, I’d rather lose the collaboration and maintain the quality and aesthetic of my content; then be pushed around. 

NO in Life: When to say NO in life is when you’ve encountered a TAKER. 

I’ve talked about takers before in this blog post, but basically, it’s okay to say NO to a friend, extracurricular or event if they are running you dry. 

What I mean by that is, you should surround yourself with people and things that inspire you and fill you up with energy, life, and excitement. Don’t constantly say YES to getting coffee with a friend that spends the whole time talking about how amazing they are or how much they get paid. Blah.
Time is your most valuable resource, so it’s okay to say NO to situations with bad energy. It’s not worth wasting your time on, to be honest. 

THE DELIVERY OF NO – Most importantly let’s talk about the delivery of NO. It’s all in the delivery/approach, so keep it short and simple. For business, I usually say: ‘Hi, At this time our crew will have to pass. Thank you for thinking of us and I hope to collaborate in the future.’ Short, simple and sweet; we aren’t looking to burn any bridges here. 

Personal NO’s can be a little more difficult to construct and really it depends on the person you’re dealing with. Overall I find coming from a place of transparency is a good place to start. 

Okay, now I’d love to know what cracks you to the point of NO? Let me know below. xx Aubrey 

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